everything i try to forget in my daily life rises to the surface in dreams:
i am at a dimly lit party (or is it a familiar house? i can’t tell).
[the beginning scenes are absent, due to an unreliable memory]
there is loud, constant, chatter. you turn your back towards me, and i can clearly see that it is [...]
Archive for October, 2008
Posted in Blogroll, tagged dreams, the space between, blood, tales, death of a moment, possibly on October 21, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Posted in Blogroll, tagged blah, thinking, thoughts on October 16, 2008 | 1 Comment »
i wish i possessed the ability to look inside myself and piece together one unified whole. currently, the space that holds each part separate is filled with doubt, uncertainty, and a certain amount of contempt towards the future. i am anxious. i’m having trouble waiting. i want things to be different. yet, i’m dreading it at the same [...]
Posted in Blogroll, tagged hope, pleasant thoughts, wish on October 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
something good will happen.
i’m sure of it.
Posted in Blogroll, tagged love, people, value on October 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
“…fuck ‘em. fuck anyone who doesn’t want you because you are a smart and creative and funny and pretty. you are worthy of the best love in the world and, one day, you will find someone. it may take you a while, but that’s only because you’re one of a kind.”
my father said this today, [...]
Posted in Blogroll, tagged screams on October 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i’m impatient. i want more than instantaneous gratification that leaves me readily when i’m finally able to grasp it.
i’m afraid of my dreams now. they always address things that i’m trying to forget yet they’re not nightmares, per se, which makes them more unpleasant.
words aren’t explaining things enough right now. try breathing underwater for a good deal of [...]
Posted in Blogroll, tagged gender roles, men, sexuality, society, women on October 5, 2008 | 2 Comments »
i never wanted to become a woman who highlights all the things that women can and can’t do but now i’m starting to feel like such matters are important.
society, at least in the states, doesn’t encourage women to feel openly sexual. to open their legs without shame but while still possessing some sense of worth. to talk [...]
Posted in Blogroll, tagged choices, forward, life on October 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i’m sure that life will provide me with everything i want but will good things happen more often if i’m passive if i wait for everything to fall neatly perfectly in line?
or
maybe it’s the active
the social predators
those who seize all they can manage
who earn the greatest rewards.
am i going to be the catalyst in my environment
or will i become [...]
Posted in Blogroll, tagged doctors, emotions, hospitals, ovens on October 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
when i overexert myself it’s an attempt to push myself towards some unforeseen limit. until my physical sensations match the mental hell. everything is drifting apart.
pinpoint the root of the problem.
visit the psychotherapist within.
i’m shouting at the doctor down the hall because i’m too docile in life and now i need someone to yell at. but beyond that [...]
