Caulfield’s Conundrum: It’s one of life’s unanswered questions, the ponderance of which is heavy enough to crush boulders, fracture bones. At what point, during the trek towards adulthood, do we decide to give up, incinerating all we’ve learned in the process? I fear that I, like many others, will eventually trade in teenage innocence and immaturity for delusions of grander that only mask the hypocrisy and stupidity of the “all mighty” Adult.

Walking around, armed with one eye

cemented shut and a mouth versed in

nonsense, experiencing the same loss

of function that occurs when

brain touches skull.