A Collection of Spectacles

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An exercise in procrastination: I tend to link songs with memorable events, so every time this one plays, I’m stuck thinking about trying to work while angry and upset. I left the room abruptly after I read it, after he said it, and ran to the bathroom. I sat outside and refused to tell her what was happening, because I don’t know her that well, I need my friend. I borrowed a cigarette and sat on the step, dropped one on the other landing, he retrieved it. I came back, and she said, “were you crying.” “Yeah.” Still, I called to try and mend, to plead, I don’t really know. I don’t understand how he couldn’t understand that that would make me upset and why I’m so upset, flat affect and tone. Losing a job provides more free time, but no money to do anything with, bloated and bored. Let’s read for leisure, someone come do this work for me, I don’t have the tolerance for all-nighters anymore.

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Can I type “how to deal with shitty situations” in a search engine?

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These words tend to evaporate into nothing as soon as they’re written. “We don’t exactly live in the world we’re supposed to.” She’s right.

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Now. Poised. Ready.

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I’m going to keep saying things until I really say what I should. I can’t stop replaying two days ago in my mind, thinking that I’m really too uneasy for anyone to accept. I don’t know if it’s that I’ve never faced embarrassment before, or if I’ve simply become worse at ignoring it. Thinking back, nothing comes to mind. In a sense, I’m disconnected from how I used to feel towards things. It would be nice to have that back though. To have a sense of confidence so strong it fills rooms, no matter how false it may have been. If it was that way even. I think, not sure.  I can’t remember what I used to feel like. If nothing else, and being so sincere it’s almost pitiful, I could want something with such a pure sense of being, then please.

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Remarkable “water” aged fingers. Wrinkled and weathered. I say things now mainly when someone interesting is inspiring.

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Another note written on a hopeful occasion. If only I wasn’t so awkward or made uncomfortable so easily. I want. Really, I do. I want and want and want, all day it runs through my mind. At all hours, and so on.

*****

Marina Abramovic’s Rhythm 0

“Instructions. There are 72 objects on the table that one can use on me as desired. Duration. 6 hours.”

details here

By standing still, and giving the audience almost omnipotent sense of control, she plays with (at the most basic of readings) the relationship between the viewer and the performer. On another level, it is possible to see her performance as a piece that tinkers with the notion of the female body in relation to docility.

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To reach, wait… I can’t be eloquent or poetic. That was said while simultaneously scoffing at both the use of the words “eloquent” and “poetic,” because they give off an heir of writer’s superiority that this degrading self-referentiality (and after typing that sentence midway, pausing, thinking, “is it ‘sense of’ self-referentiality?” but eventually leaving it as it stands now, maybe subconsciously to plead with the outside world, to expose that my reflexivity is honest, sincere) has proceeded to pull apart. Thoughts are waste when I’m always, and always, and always, thinking about the content while judging the way in which it is constructed at the same time no that is extraneous noise keep that out of your mind, that is the perfect word to describe what I am actually feeling but as a person who writes I think no, that is a cliche term to put it in, don’t speak that word. I want to say that I am upset, and unhappy, maybe not tomorrow, but surely today, because that is what is most accurate. But that’s an overused way to put something, isn’t it? It’s lost it’s profundity. I’ve done nothing but change the phrasing on old letters and replace them with more sophisticated synonyms. And I’ll leave everything in tact, every comma, every anything, out of place.

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Our first action

Title of Action: Blocks Away

Date: Friday 10.01.10

Time: 12:00-4 or 5

Organizer: Laura Elrick w/ Kate Eichhorn

Description/Instructions

1. Multiple groups of 2 converge at Ground Zero near the corner of Church St. and Vesey St. This is the first stop, and the 1st Photo is taken of the full number of participants.

2. Groups of 2 then diverge in different directional vectors in a starburst pattern, walking in silence and noticing the material, psychological, political and emotional characteristics of the terrains they move through.

3. Throughout this walk (along their directional vector), each group will stop 5-7 times at intervals of 1-5 blocks, 6-10 blocks, 11-15 blocks, 16-20 blocks, 21-25 blocks (and so forth) away from the Ground Zero Vortex. The particular location of the stop is determined by the group and is based on the potential material, psychological, political or emotional interest of the site for framing the “blocks away” action and signage (see next). Note: Vector may “drift” as needed when passage is blocked by dead-ends, buildings and the like, but group should attempt to return to original direction as soon as is possible.

4. At each stop, a sign is constructed using the list of phrases provided as guides (or some variation thereof). The group then stands in silence for between 10 and 15 minutes holding the sign in front of their chosen site.  At some point after the action has commenced (not sooner than 5 minutes into the action) one group member takes a snapshot of the sign and makes a careful note on the map of their location.

5. Immediately upon leaving each stop, the group discusses their experience briefly and sends a twitter description of the session. Literal, coy, critical, sarcastic, somber, witty or other modes are encouraged depending on need and desire.

6. The action ends either when the group finishes between 5 and 7 stops, or at 3:30, whichever comes first.  The group then hails a cab and returns to Lang (location TBA) for debriefing and discussion of the action. KEEP YOUR RECEIPT so you can get reimbursed.

7. Photos and twitters will be collected and used to construct documentation of the action to be distributed using various possible methods (google earth, a website, exhibition, etc).

Legal Information:

Groups of up to 3 people who do not intend to block traffic or use amplified sound, DO NOT need a permit as long as the gathering is on public property. Business owners may hassle you; if they do, say nothing, choose either to complete your action or move on.  If police officers approach, explain that your action is limited to 10 minutes and that you will be moving on. If they insist, don’t fight it, just move on to your next location. Make sure to have at least 3 phone numbers of people in other groups that you can call in case of emergency or other unexpected occurrence.

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