A Collection of Spectacles


I don’t think I want to have children. I’m uncomfortable having my body change, and it seems rude to have a kid in a world where people can’t get it together. While out earth burns and we’re twiddling our thumbs. I’m getting more frustrated as I get older, because all these societal hallmarks feel like they strip away the respect I should be given as an autonomous being. Like, my family always talks to my boyfriend as if he is responsible for me in a patronizing way. If they found out what I do, they’d probably ask why he “let me” do that, as if I never had a life before being partnered. As if I don’t have my own strength.

He’s upset when I say I don’t want to take his last name. I want to live and die with the name I was born with unless we take each other’s names. Women are not dowry, I say. I’m endlessly confused because aren’t we Marxists or something? I mean, we’re not really -ists at all but certainly we orbit the left sphere. Then again, he is admittedly a reformed reactionary. I keep finding and fucking men like this, so it must say something about me. More women are giving me attention which is exciting, but I’m always afraid that they’re too homophobic to take my affection seriously, so often I preemptively shy away.

You can fuck whoever you want and see whoever you want just let me know how passionate you are for me. I’m always trying to cut back on talking too much, because I want you to tell me everything about you. I’m looking for deep levels of intimacy and obsession without monogamy. I think many conflate possessiveness with love, but I want obsession and desire without hierarchical rankings. Maybe I’m asking for the impossible. We’ll play with knives only when we have access to the sharpest one. It has to be real or its not worth it.

Filed under: Blogroll

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: