A Collection of Spectacles


i’m constantly chasing bouts of mania. because right now, i feel so normal (or as stereotypically normal as it gets) which is so odd. i find “normal” to be synonymous with nothingness. i think that all of these recent posts have been a waste of time and space because they’re full of nothingness. they’re all me sitting here, trying to dig up something to put down. and if i ever got anything to make me taste more of this normalness then i would gut myself before experiencing it. i miss the thoughts that passed through my head. it’s as if i want to produce something great but can’t because nothing comes to me. i’m not even excited about what to me was interesting yesterday. i find no excitement in anything.  the usual pursuit of happiness isn’t even appealing right now. i’m so needy. and always am when that’s concerned. i want to be engulfed in someone’s admiration. if thinking of you doesn’t throw me into complete hyperactivity and make me lose sleep then i don’t like you enough. is that okay though? to only mark being in love with blind disruptive devotion?

Filed under: Blogroll,