A Collection of Spectacles

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hypothetical:

if i didn’t have eyes and i told you please don’t look at me would you still stare? i’d have to trust that you wouldn’t but surely you could. i’d never know. so would you look into my dark gaping holes simply because i’d told you not to? or out of curiosity? or something else? that’s assuming that you’d look. a “nice” person would cover me with a blindfold.

***

occasionally at my lunch table my friends and i try to answer the question is it looks or personality that’s attractive. and i say both. i am told wait but you were with [fill in the blank(s)]. after that i’m rendered speechless. because i would fuck a person with no eyes stick my tounge in the sockets.

psat: 166. not bad (?) the people i associate with always do better than me. it makes me an over-achiever at heart but never in practice.

yesterday i met this woman with an accent in the mall.  she was trying to get my mom to buy a hair straightener. she ignored me for a long time because my hair is not long anymore like my mother’s. she said if you buy it today i’ll throw in a free gift this vibrating brush. she turned around and brushed my hair with it. it’s supposed to stimulate the bloodflow and kick start hair growth she said. it made me uncomfortable. she did my hair because i begged her but only half. and if you buy it i’ll throw in this and that and finish her hair. my mom stared at me. i couldn’t help her. i don’t have the credit card. she bought it for one forty because we talked the woman down from two hundred. the entire time i thought i have a straightener at home already. why do i need another? because this woman is pushing her chanel no. 5 scented breasts in my face? fuck capitalism.

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