A Collection of Spectacles

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at this point, i’m willing to shed every bit of my exterior. expose my discomfort. a change in pace from moments when i preferred watching what i now want most from behind a keyhole (of sorts).                                                                                                                                                                                                     living life with the assistance of emotional blockades can keep hurt at bay. however, this type of lifestyle also distances those who choose to follow it from the most joyous of feelings until the vast spectrum of existence has been shortened to the point that no situation, be it enjoyable or sorrow-filled, evokes any response whatsoever. what’s left is sometimes referred to as the exoskeleton in human form.                                                                                                                                                                                                            I want a vessel upon which I can place my insecurities. Except, instead of using this as a way of hiding from my self-perceived flaws, i see such an action as a chance to display them so that I can view them with more clarity.                                                                                                                                                                                                                           thus, the expedition begins. 

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i strive to eliminate the last traces of any emotion that can be deemed overly enthusiastic. enthusiasm in the form of feelings that draw your mind back to one subject and one subject only. cruelly lets it wander towards others for seconds at a time only to reel it back in to your place of origin. it preoccupies the brain so often that it is no longer a thought but The Thought. 

i only ask if i did the wrong thing. 

currently life sends me mixed messages, hope only in its most bittersweet form. 

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